Are You Seeking Validation or Improvement?

Are you looking for validation or improvement?

I had an interesting experience with a coaching client of mine that really made me stop and think. During our conversation, he asked me a question that had me thinking for hours after our conversation ended.

He said, “How can I improve?”

That may not immediately strike you as anything profound, but as someone who has been coaching business owners for over 10 years, this question was a huge “ah-ha” moment for me.

The reason that question stood out to me so much was because typically, I’ll hear the question – “Was that okay?”

Which doesn’t sound bad, until you consider whether you’re seeking validation or improvement in the answer you’ll receive. One will tell you what you want to hear, and the other will tell you what you need to hear. One will feel good in the short-term, while the other will serve you for years to come.

So what about you? Do you seek validation, or do you seek ways to improve to be even better?

When you ask, “How can I improve?” you:

• Show confidence in your ability to be better
• Have an opportunity to learn something you may not have seen before
• Achieve GREAT results, instead of “good enough” results
• Demonstrate a growth mindset over a fixed mindset
• Demonstrate a willingness to learn

Validation or Improvement

When you ask, “Was that okay?” although I’m sure you may not realize it in the moment, it demonstrates someone who is seeking approval that what they did was good enough.

As humans, we have a love-hate relationship with feedback. Your logic tells you that you NEED feedback in order to improve, but the little voice of ego inside of your head absolutely HATES it.

If you’re looking to grow, learn, build and get better in your business, stop asking if “that was okay,” and start focusing on ways to improve.

Leave me a comment below, and let me know a piece of advice/feedback that really impacted you!