This is a particularly tough topic for women – how do you get clarity in your business and your life. Women seem to find it difficult to figure out what we want in life, and then muster up the courage to do it.
I wish it was as simple as telling you to follow a straight line and it will lead you right where you want to go. But I can’t.
The truth is, it is hard to get clarity.
Women tend to be caretakers – we care about everyone else first before we consider ourselves. Because we’re focused on the needs of everyone else, we do little things all the time that diminishes our ability to be clear about what we really want.
For example, “Honey, what do you want for dinner tonight?” Or, “Honey, do you want red wine or white wine?” Or “Honey, where do you want to go on vacation?” Or “Honey, should we get the green chair or the yellow?”
The questions or small, but they happen all the time and in asking these little questions, we give our power away to other people.
We do this not because we are incapable of making decisions, but rather because we want to take care of people – we often care about what they want more than we care about what we want.
Over many years of doing this, we eventually consider our own wants and needs last whenever any question arises. And, once you’ve put yourself at the bottom of the list it is hard to pull yourself back up to the top.
I catch myself doing this when I go to a restaurant. I ask everybody at the table what they’re having before I can decide what I’m going to have. Who cares what everyone else is having! Just make a decision to have what you want.
When someone asks what you want, do something completely radical – make a choice!
When we are so busy trying to please everyone else, it can be very difficult to think about what we want or need in business or in life.
We get so busy being caretakers that we forget our own needs. We stop using our voice. And, when we stop using our voice, it gets progressively harder to speak up and ask for what we want. And, how can we possibly get what we want if we don’t ask for it? People are not mind readers – you must:Speak up and let the world know what it is you want from it - create clarity in your business. Click To Tweet
Because we don’t put ourselves first for the little decisions, the great big life and business decisions become really hard to make too. How can you possibly decide what you want from the rest of your life it you can’t decide what you want for dinner?
You start small. You start paying attention to what you want every day. The little things count – coffee or tea, red or white – make those decisions! Practice using your voice on those little things and over time you start building confidence around what you want.
Leaving my corporate job and opening my own business felt like a HUGE risk, but a girlfriend of mine said, “You know Lisa, opening that store wasn’t really all that risky.”
I was stunned! I had invested hundreds of thousands of dollars… Walked away from a six-figure income with great benefits and stock options. Her comment really ticked me off!
But she was right.
Opening that business was safe, comfortable, and easy.
When I first open that store I used to walk into it in the morning and think, “OMG I can’t believe this is my own business. I own this!”
Over time, I got bored. It wasn’t feeding my soul. Because what I really wanted to do was teach. I really wanted to lead, to inspire people, to help them get results.
Two years after open that store, I realized I had a different idea – a different plan for myself.
I didn’t just discard my store and let it die; I started my new idea slowly and responsibly. It took me five years to get rid of that store and evolve into doing what I now do full-time.
You don’t have to shift heaven and earth in 30-days – sometimes it takes longer.
Clarity is a moving target. You start by thinking about what you want today, tomorrow, a year from now, or 5 years from now. You start by asking yourself what you want and by speaking up for the little things. That’s where it starts.
You gradually build yourself up by getting in touch with and asking for, the little things so that you’re ready when it comes to the big things.
Many of us have lost our voice. We’ve lost our ability to ask. We’re afraid of failing. We’re afraid of change. We’re afraid that if we really follow our dreams and really do what we want, we might upset someone.You weren’t born to live anyone else’s life. You were born to live YOUR life. Click To Tweet
You can live your life AND be a positive influence for the other people in your life. Even more so, when you finally begin doing what you want in life.
My message for you isn’t to throw the baby out with the bathwater, divorce your husband, send your kids off to be adopted, and start a new life. My message is to start to pay attention to what you want. Start to pay attention to your needs. Start to pay attention to where you’re not speaking up. Start to pay attention to where you’re giving away your power. And start taking back control of some of those things.
Start with the small things and start putting YOU at the top of the list. Leave me a comment below and tell me a decision that you made today that put YOU first.
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