Choose to Rise to Success
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson, CEO of AndTech Solutions is, to me, the definition of resilience. Although she is now the CEO of a major multi-7-figure tech strategy and consulting company, she rose from a difficult childhood with a mother addicted to drugs, became a single mother herself at a young age, and just when she thought she’d made it, unexpectedly lost her dream job. This is her story.
If you’ve ever been side-swiped by tragedy, lost everything, or found yourself at the mercy of your circumstances, you are going to find inspiration from Myoshia’s journey. In this episode, you’ll hear what it feels like to hit rock bottom and discover what tiny secret opportunity might be hidden in what feels like an impossible situation.
What can you do to get yourself out of a rut and bounce back stronger? Who do you turn to when everyone you’ve relied on is gone? Would you have what it takes to build a new life for yourself, one phone call at a time? Let Myoshia inspire that resilient part of you and help you see what is possible if only you take matters into your own hands.
How do you get comfortable with success? You’d think after being through so much it would be easy to embrace having money and security, but that is not always the case, especially when you come from humble beginnings. Tune in to hear Myoshia and I talk about the guilt, the struggle with worthiness and how she’s come to peace with both.
What’s in This Episode
- How to overcome situations beyond your control
- The tool Myoshia used to start her new business
- How to self-motivate by talking to yourself
- The importance of finding something that keeps you grounded
- Why your client list is everything
- 3 things to do to remain calm and focused
- How to overcome the guilt of success
What To Do Next
- Join The Strategy Lab, Lisa’s insider entrepreneurial community that is learning, tackling, and coming together to support and challenge each other on all things business. Click here to join!
- Join Thought Readers and connect with other like-minded entrepreneurs in this popular book club for business owners.
- Subscribe to receive this podcast and regular weekly strategies to grow and shape your business. You’ll also be the first to know about upcoming courses, programs and exclusive LIVE training.
- Join the conversation on Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn and share your insights from the show.
Where to Find Myoshia
You can connect with Myoshia on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, or Twitter. And, don’t forget to check out her website.
Next week we are wrapping up this season with Episode 40: Money, Metrics and Measurement Mash-Up, a very special Q&A with Stephanie Rainey, where we’ll answer your questions so that you can start the new year fresh with a plan to make 2022 one for the books!
CLICK HERE TO OPEN THE FULL TRANSCRIPT
Lisa Larter (00:01):
Welcome to, She Talks Business. If you’re an entrepreneur, business owner or aspiring mogul, chances are you want to learn more about marketing and mastering and monetizing your business. She Talks Business is where you’ll learn all of that and more. My name is Lisa Larter and I’m an entrepreneur, high school dropout, wiener dog enthusiast and your host. Let’s get started.
Lisa Larter (00:24):
Hello and welcome to a very special episode of She Talks Business. I am having a conversation with Myoshia Boykin-Anderson today, and if you don’t know Myoshia, you’re going to be glad that you listened to this episode and let me tell you why. Have you ever encountered something in life that was really, really hard and you gave up because it was hard? Well, Myoshia is the type of person who has encountered a lot of really hard things in life, and she has continued to push through. She has not allowed obstacles get in the way of her success. In fact, she is probably one of the most resilient people I know in terms of her ability to just stick with the plan and have faith that everything is going to be okay. And I got to tell you, she consciously chooses that failure is not an option.
Lisa Larter (01:36):
So if you’re sitting here today and you’re thinking that your life is hard and you wish that things could be a little bit easier and maybe you’re thinking success seems really, really far away on the horizon or the goal posts keep moving, and you’re frustrated by that. I hope you’ll listen to this story. We talk about a lot of really interesting things. We talk about the willingness to keep going. We talk about overcoming adversity. We talk about standing in your faith, whatever it is that you believe in, and we also talk about the discomfort that comes along with success if you’ve grown up with very humble beginnings. I hope you enjoy listening to this show as much as I enjoyed my conversation with Myoshia.
Lisa Larter (02:26):
All right, I am so excited to have Myoshia here with me today. I feel like she is my sister from another mister in so many different ways. Thank you, Myoshia, for being here.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (02:42):
I am so excited. I am really, really excited about being here with you today, Lisa.
Lisa Larter (02:48):
I remember when we met, oh gosh, I think it’s almost two years ago now, in Miami at the Trust, and I remember you walked into the room and you just immediately changed the energy and the vibe in that room for everyone. You just bring this exuberance for life to everything that you do that I have so much respect for because I am one of these people who tends to be a little more reserved, and when I’m in your presence, I feel energized by your enthusiasm, so thank you for that. I know our listeners are going to get a little taste of that today.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (03:37):
Oh my goodness, I’m so excited. I’m so excited.
Lisa Larter (03:41):
So we are wrapping up the whole money measurements and metrics season, which has been a really, really important season. We’ve talked a lot about money, we’ve talked about wealth building, we’ve talked about KPIs, all the stuff that is really important in your business. And sometimes, I feel like people listen to the show and they have these … Yeah but, Lisa, it’s easy for you. You run a seven figure business. Yeah but, Lisa, it’s easy for you, you don’t have a job. Yeah but, Lisa, it’s easy for you, your husband is supportive. And so I want you to start by taking us back to that day, that day you lost your job because you didn’t have a big business then, and I want you to tell our listeners a little bit about your story. Because if you’re listening to this show thinking that you can’t do it, you can’t grow, Myoshia is … She is living proof that anything is possible. Can you tell us that story?
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (04:50):
Oh my goodness, I definitely can. It’s interesting because I can literally feel myself going back to that day, and I love talking about it because it is a story of what is possible. So I’ll give a little context. I am a native Houstonian, born and raised in Houston, Texas, grew up poor by all means of the word. I grew up with a mother that was addicted to drugs and I found myself having to be this big person early in life, right? Not by choice, but because I needed to be available for my siblings and all of that.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (05:40):
So I’ll take you to the day, it is 1998, it’s in February, and at this point in my life, I am 25 years old. I am a single mother to the world’s most amazing four-year-old; she hadn’t quite turned five yet. Actually, she was five, she hadn’t quite turned six yet. And I’m on this job that I literally thought was my dream job. So I’m in IT, I’m working at a company where I got to utilize all of my technical skills and my people skills because I’m truly a people person first, and then I am this sort of tech guru, right? But I’m working on this job and making pretty good money for a 25-year-old at that time. I remember I was making $46,800. And I remember that because it was more than any amount that I had ever made before, but I was still living beyond my means. I was still living paycheck to paycheck, but I was on this amazing job that I absolutely loved. So one day my boss came into the office, which was quite unusual by itself, but she came in and she made the announcement that they decided they were going to close the office.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (07:16):
And Lisa, when I tell you it felt like my stomach dropped out of my body, it literally … It caught me so much first by surprise, but knowing the position that I was in behind the scenes, it was utterly devastating.
Lisa Larter (07:38):
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (07:39):
It was terrifying because not only did she tell me they had made the decision to close the office, she said today. And I remember having to excuse myself to the restroom and I bawled, I literally bawled my eyes out. I literally did. I cried, and it was the really ugly cry, like at one point I think I had slumped down to the ground. It was so devastating me because I didn’t know how I was going to make things happen, right? Because again, I told you I was making good money, yeah. But I was living paycheck to paycheck.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (08:24):
So many times we see someone on the surface and we think that they have it all together but we all have stuff going on in the background, so this was a moment where my stuff started to bubble up and it really just popped me by surprised. I remember being in that restroom and feeling despair on all ends. I kept thinking about my daughter, how was I going to take care of her? Because it was important for me to provide a lifestyle for her that I did not have, that I did not have the privilege of enjoying.
Lisa Larter (09:02):
I’m going to guess that you probably as a result of having to take care of your family even before your daughter, you have an overly active sense of responsibility.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (09:14):
Oh my goodness, that’s the most beautiful way to put it, because I do. I do. And for years, especially at that point, for years I felt such a responsibility because I felt like I had arrived and it was my responsibility to take care of those that I loved, right? And now someone was coming in outside of my control challenging my ability to do that, and I just remember crying in that bathroom. But then Lisa, it was so amazing because I remember at one point I caught my gaze in the mirror, right? I caught myself looking at myself and I literally said, “Girl, look, we got to get it together.”
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (10:08):
I remember washing my face, like putting water on my face because I literally had mascara everywhere. I remember putting water on my face saying, “Okay girl, we can’t stay in this bathroom.” Right? “We have to get it together.” And I left that bathroom not knowing what was going to happen, but I knew that I couldn’t stay in that moment. As bad as it felt I knew that something had to happen. So I remember leaving out of the bathroom. I went back into the office and I remember her asking me to help her clean the office. And first I thought, the audacity of this woman, you just told me that I’m losing my job and now you want my help?
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (10:53):
But I remember thinking in that moment that one, not only was I about to be out of a job, but all of the clients that I served were about to be out of a service provider. So as bad as I felt and as helpless as I felt, I saw this great opportunity. Now I didn’t know how that looked. I don’t think initially I thought about starting my own company in that moment, but I knew that I had a skillset that I was really good at and I knew that the people that I served in this role needed me.
Lisa Larter (11:39):
The idea fairy was knocking on your door.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (11:41):
Exactly, exactly. So I often tell people that this road to entrepreneurship was involuntary for me, I didn’t sign up for this. But I remember thinking that day, one, that no one was ever going to be in a position where they controlled where I got my next dollar, and two, I saw the opportunity of what I could possibly do. So I helped her cleaned the office that day. I made sure that I had a list of all of the clients that I served in that role, and it was a list of 63. And I remember setting out to find another job because my first order of business was to make sure that I had a every other Friday check, right?
Lisa Larter (12:32):
Being able to survive.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (12:35):
I had to survive, and I had other people depending on me for their survival as well. So I set out, I found another job that I absolutely hated, but it was a means to an end. And I remember taking that list of 63 companies and I called all 63 of them, Lisa. I didn’t have a formal business script, I had never been to any business training at this … I had never been to college. So I didn’t know the first thing about starting a business. But again, I knew that I had a skillset that others needed.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (13:19):
So I started calling these 63 people and my script went a little bit like this, “Hey, it’s Myoshia. I know they closed the office, I’m so sorry about that, but I wanted to ask if you had any projects that you need help with.” Right? And hindsight now looking back on it, one is that the only reason I was able to even make those phone calls was because, as I mentioned earlier, I’m a people person, so in every role that I’ve ever had, far beyond the role, I made sure that I developed relationships, right?
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (14:00):
So, people knew me even outside of the role that I was performing, so I knew that everybody was mad at the company that I worked for. Everybody was mad because they literally shut down with no warning or anything, but I had an association outside of them so that people knew me personally, but I called all 63, and in response to those 63 phone calls, I got 63 nos. Everybody told me no, and on one day then-
Lisa Larter (14:39):
How did that feel? How did that feel? You’ve got these 63 names and numbers, and you dial, and you dial, and you dial, and you dial, and you get to the … Myoshia, I have done cold calls. After about three, I’m ready to stick my fingers in my eyes, so after 63 calls and 63 nos, how did you feel?
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (15:03):
I remember literally, Lisa, I remember after that third one, maybe fourth one, I was like, oh, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, but I didn’t allow myself to stop. I literally kept calling because for me, at this point, failure was not an option. Failure was not an option because I knew, Lisa, that I never wanted to go back to the way I felt in that bathroom that day, and in order for me not to have to feel like I felt in that bathroom that day, I knew that I had to keep calling. I had this vision of my daughter in my head, and that’s what kept me calling and hearing the no but still calling the next one and hearing the no but still calling the next one, right?
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (15:56):
I’ll tell you, my response to all of these nos wasn’t a response of despair, but I remember saying, and I’ll tell you, I have no idea where this came from at the time. It was ingenious from a sales perspective, right, but I didn’t know what I was necessarily doing at the time, but I remember in response to every one of those nos, instead of me giving up and saying, “Oh, okay, thank you. Have a nice day,” I remember my response to each of them was, “Okay. That’s cool. Would you mind if I gave you a call next month?”
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (16:36):
So, even though I had an initial no, I was setting myself up for another opportunity to ask, right? Some of them said, “Yes, you could call us next month.” Some of them said, “No. Don’t call us again,” right? So, I set out every month, I would pick my day. It was always on a Friday, and I would make my calls every single month, always asking the same thing. Hey, it’s Myoshia. Do you have any projects that you need help with? All of them said no, month number two. All of them said no, month number three. My list kept getting smaller because, of course, when I said, “It’s okay. Do you mind if I call you next month?” some of them said yes, some of them said no.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (17:26):
I literally repeated this consistent act every single month. So, fast forward nine months later, and I think about that now, Lisa, and the importance as a woman and us as women, the significance of nine months, and it took me nine months of making these phone calls. So, now, fast forward, it is November 1998. It’s a Friday. As a matter of fact, it’s Friday the 13th, and I’m making my phone calls. Now, my list was down. From 63, I think I had about 10 people on the list at this point. I’m making my normal calls, something that I had done for the prior eight months, right? So, I’m making these phone calls, and I remember getting not even halfway through the list. “Hey, it’s Myoshia with my normal monthly call,” and by this time, I’m making little jokes around it, right but, “This is Myoshia with my normal monthly call. Just wondering if you had any projects you needed help with.”
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (18:35):
I’ll never forget it. Her name was Naomi. I remember Naomi saying, “As a matter of fact,” and Lisa, when I tell you, those five words, like it wasn’t even a yes. It was as a matter of fact, and I think now, the significance that I want everybody listening today to get out of that is that sometimes, our answer is not the flat out yes that we’re looking for, right? It could look quite different. For me, it did. She said, “As a matter of fact.” I almost didn’t hear anything she said after that quite honestly but I … That was it for me, Lisa.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (19:27):
I remember getting off that call full of so much hope, also full of a lot of anxiety because now, I’m like, “Oh, shoot. Now, what am I going to do, right? Somebody actually said it,” but I remember being so hopeful. I didn’t even finish making the calls on my list that day. I literally did not call the rest of those people. I remember getting off the phone. I told my supervisor that I was taking my lunch break. I left my job that day, drove downtown. I spent $10 to file a DBA, and that was all I knew to do, and everything else is literally history, Lisa.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (20:09):
I started my business that day. I quit my job that day. I don’t want you guys to go out and quit your jobs, but I literally quit my job that day because, again, for me, I was so committed to this that not doing it wasn’t even a possibility. It wasn’t even an option. So, I quit my job that day, and I was literally in Naomi’s office on Monday morning, November 16. From there, from 1998, that was my first business. I was able to grow that business to multiple six figures by September, end of September … I mean, end of 2007 and it was just … I just remember it being this amazing ride of learning, of failing, of a lot of tears, a lot of heartache, a lot of not knowing, a lot of bumping my head, a lot of falling down, a lot of stumbling, but I just remember it being the most amazing journey ever.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (21:24):
Now, I’ve started multiple businesses since then. I currently have a multiple seven-figure tech company now, and it’s just been this amazing ride, this amazing ride of resilience, this amazing ride of trusting, this amazing ride of cultivating relationships and partnerships and all of the things, but it’s definitely been a journey of learning.
Lisa Larter (21:57):
So, talk to me about resilience because people give up so fast, and when I hear you say it took nine months to birth a business, you didn’t give up, and I don’t know anybody who would’ve picked up that phone month after month after month and did what you did. So, what do you attribute that resilience to coming from? Because you said your mom was a drug addict, so it wasn’t like you had a great role model as a child. Where did that come from?
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (22:43):
I can wholeheartedly 100% say that it was God. It was literally my faith. It was faith in a God that I hadn’t even developed the level of relationship that I have now. My faith has grown so much over the years, but it was only my faith that kept me. It kept me going, knowing that everybody else didn’t see my value, but I knew my value, and even during the days when I doubted myself, my faith wouldn’t allow me to stay in a posture of doubt. I needed my-
Lisa Larter (23:36):
Oh, I love that. My faith …
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (23:36):
Lisa Larter (23:37):
Do you hear what you just said? My faith wouldn’t allow me to stay in a posture of doubt.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (23:42):
Oh, my gosh.
Lisa Larter (23:43):
That is so powerful.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (23:45):
I’m pausing now just taking it in because it is. It is just … It’s so powerful, and it’s so much bigger, it’s so much bigger than me. It is literally so much bigger than me. I’m so grateful for it. It’s everything that I stand on today. It gives me the courage that I need daily. It gives me the boldness that I need daily. It gives me the clarity that I need daily, and it gives me the power, the power that I need to stand in daily.
Lisa Larter (24:26):
So, can you talk to me a little bit about this because I think that there are so many different ways to look at faith? Some of us believe in God. Some of us believe in the universe. Some of us believe in spirit or a higher power. I actually don’t think it matters what you believe in as much as you have some source of faith that grounds you. So, can you talk a little bit about how did you develop a practice of faith, or how did you get grounded in faith when so many things around you were going wrong? Because I’ve heard that, like I have friends that have lost children. I have friends that have lost family members, that have had really devastating things happen to them, and I’ve heard people … I’ve heard people say things that would imply that if God was good, this wouldn’t have happened. So, I’m not really looking for the conversation about God, but I’m looking for the conversation of, how do you maintain the faith when so much around you is challenging that faith?
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (25:47):
Yeah. It’s such a great question to ask and one that so many people would skirt around, but I’ll tell you that what I know to be true is that if I believe in a God that says that all things work together for good, then I can’t pick and choose. All means all. All means good. All means bad. All means indifferent. All means difficult. All means uneasy. All means uncomfortable. All means all, and if I believe that all things work together for good, then I have to trust and believe that no matter what is going on, it is a part of all because if we start picking and choosing when we think God is good or when we think God is there or when we think God is not or whatever, then that means we truly don’t believe that all is all, right?
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (26:55):
If what they taught us in school as a child is that all is all encompassing, like there’s nothing outside of all, so that’s what has kept me. That’s what keeps me grounded. That’s why I can listen to a no, and it doesn’t completely wipe me out. Now, it may knock me down, right? I’ll tell you, I tell a lot of people, I allow myself to feel everything. I don’t not feel despair. I don’t not feel hurt. I don’t not feel pain. I allow myself to feel it, but the difference is that I don’t allow myself to stay there, right?
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (27:39):
I think when we try to keep ourselves from feeling it, that’s when we get sick, right? You’re internalizing everything, and then before you know it, you break a nail, and it send you over the edge, right? So, I allow myself to feel everything, but I also allow myself to stand on my faith so much that I have the power to overcome whatever situation arises, and that could mean death, and that could mean loss. It could mean financial loss. It could mean just all of the things. That’s what I believe, Lisa. And I stand on that every single day, even to this day. All things work together for good.
Lisa Larter (28:34):
What a great, great, great foundation to stand on. I love that. Thank you.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (28:41):
Lisa Larter (28:41):
You said something that I thought was really interesting, because I’ve used the exact same words. You said, “I couldn’t stay in that moment,” and I’m trying to figure out how we can help people to understand that you have a choice not to stay in a moment, because I’ve said the same thing. I said the same thing almost five years ago when my dog died, and my dog died accidentally. And at the time, I believed that my dog shouldn’t have died, and it was a very, very traumatic experience for me. And I remember the morning that I woke up, and I made that conscious decision that I couldn’t stay in that moment. I couldn’t stay in that. I could not allow myself to stay in that place any longer, but I wasn’t going to let myself suffer. And I remember Deepak Chopra one time tweeted something, and I think it was after… I think it was the Sandy Hook school shooting.
Lisa Larter (29:51):
And my mom was glued to CNN, glued, like every step. She was a wreck, glued. And I remember Deepak tweeting at the time, “Bless and release, don’t stress and obsess.” And it really resonated with me, because I think that that’s… Some of us choose to bless and release and move on in certain situations, and other people feed their stress through obsessing over whatever the bad thing is.
Lisa Larter (30:29):
When you think about yourself and your capacity to move yourself out of that difficult moment, are there some ways that you can share that would be helpful to other people for moving themselves?
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (30:43):
Yeah, I think, for me, I literally… There is something to be said for quietness and stillness. In every difficult situation that has happened in my life, I remember the first thing that I had to do was get quiet and get still. And for me, that’s what initially grounds me. And this is physically. Physically, you need to get in a quiet space, whatever that space is. And you have to get still, like physically not moving still. For me, that in itself puts me in a posture to be able to receive whatever I’m about to receive. That’s first and foremost, get quiet and get still.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (31:46):
Secondly, is I literally have to remind myself again, as I’ve just mentioned, in that quiet and still space. And I know you guys are listening today, but I’m literally getting quiet and getting still right now. I’m closing my eyes. And the first thing I’m telling myself is, “This is part of all. All things work together for good.”
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (32:18):
Now, it’s not going to be physically easy for you to move past whatever it is you’re going through, because when we are going through stuff, like it literally feels like it’s crippling us, it’s paralyzing us, whether it’s fear, whether it’s loss, whether it’s whatever it is, for me, I know sometimes it makes me feel like I’m physically unable to take a step forward. But for me, just being able to repeat that in my head, “This is just a part of all.” And like, literally getting so real with myself and talking to myself, as I would a girlfriend. And I always call myself girl. Everything starts with girl. Like, “Girl.” And I often say, “Girl, listen,” and then I have to literally listen to myself. But, “Girl, listen, all is a part of all. Now, what are you going to do?”
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (33:16):
The next thing I do is I literally ask myself, “What are you going to do?” And I force myself to answer that because not answering is not an option. Saying, “I don’t know,” it’s not an option. I need to know what I’m getting ready to do. Even if it ends up not being the first best thing, it’s doing something. I do not allow myself to not do anything. That is literally not an option in my life. And I don’t care in what situation it is. Doing nothing is not an option. I’m asking myself, and having a conversation with myself, and determining what my next step is going to be. That’s what I would say, and that’s just something that is physically tangible that I do.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (34:14):
And sometimes I’m finding myself doing this multiple times per day, because we all know, and if these past couple of years haven’t taught us anything, we all know that stuff is going to happen, and sometimes stuff keeps happening. It’s just, you’re like, “Man, again? What is it?” But literally, I will stop whatever I’m doing, I will excuse myself from a room, and I will find some place to get still and to get quiet, and then I’m having a conversation with myself, “Girl, what are we about to do?”
Lisa Larter (34:50):
Mm-hmm (affirmative). I love that, because what I’m hearing you say is that you have to step away from the situation, you have to get grounded, you have to get quiet, you have to anchor back to what you believe, and then you have to ask yourself, “What am I going to do now?” And so the anchoring back to what you believe in is what keeps you centered.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (35:11):
Lisa Larter (35:12):
It’s like that tether that keeps you grounded in terms of what’s happening in this world. It’s the faith that you stand on, which is hugely, hugely powerful. I love that. Thank you.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (35:23):
Yeah, mm-hmm (affirmative).
Lisa Larter (35:25):
Let’s talk about money. We both have come from very, very, very humble beginnings. And when we first met, we were both talking about boats, because we had both just bought a boat, and we were pretty excited about that. And I remember being in that room with you, and I remember you making a comment about it was so nice to be able to talk about money and to talk about things that you were buying within this group of people, because culturally, you didn’t grow up in an environment where that was normal. And I didn’t grow up in an environment where that was normal either. I think I told you a story about when I bought my first Louis Vuitton bag, and I went to visit my mom, and I’m sitting in my mom’s little apartment, and my cousin and somebody else was there, and my beautiful little Louis Vuitton bag is sitting on the floor, and my mom says to the people in the room, “Oh my God, do you know how much she paid for that bag?” And then blurts out the price. And I wanted to die.
Lisa Larter (36:33):
I was mortified. I was so embarrassed, because this… I don’t know, this sense of lack of deservingness, “Who am I to have such nice things when other people don’t?” Can we talk a little bit about that, because you came from very humble beginnings and you have accomplished a lot in your life? There is a very, very, very, very small percentage of women that have created seven figure businesses, let alone multi seven. And there’s an even smaller number of African American women who have done so. First of all, congratulations, because it’s hugely empowering that for both of us… I mean, I was raised by a single mom. I’m a high school dropout, but can you talk to me a little bit about, how do you get comfortable with your success?
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (37:37):
I will tell you, it’s definitely not easy, Lisa, especially when you… I’ll speak about family first, and then I’ll kind of go outside to friends and associates, if you will. But from a family perspective, in so many ways, I am the first. Literally, when I was growing up, every woman in my family that I knew was on welfare. And I actually… When I first had my daughter, I too, was on welfare. When you arrive, when you feel like you’ve made it and you’ve reached this level of success, when those around you have not, it’s so uncomfortable. You feel, one, on one hand, this guilt. You feel guilty for having. You feel guilty for no longer operating from a point of lack.
Lisa Larter (38:41):
No longer thinking the same way.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (38:43):
Yeah, no longer thinking the same way. [crosstalk 00:38:46].
Lisa Larter (38:46):
And maybe even judging.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (38:48):
Yeah, you feel guilty. And you not only feel guilty yourself, but you have some that will make you feel guilty for succeeding. I have several people in my family that made me feel guilty and made me feel bad for having nicer things now, for being able to afford, to your point, a Louis Vuitton bag, really making me feel guilty, and then saying things like, “Oh, she thinks she’s all that now.” Or, “Who do you think you are?” And all of the things. And when you are the first, and when this is not common for you, if you’re not careful, you will fall into that guilt, and you will allow that guilt and think it is valid when there could be nothing further from the truth. That’s from a family perspective, one, that whole guilt that they’ve imposed on you, or the self-imposed guilt, because now, you have, and they don’t. And you feel like it’s your fault. That’s on one hand.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (40:00):
On the other hand, it’s the friends, who now, they don’t feel comfortable talking around you, and now, you don’t feel comfortable because you have, and they don’t. And even with that, there’s this sense of guilt. It becomes very difficult. But one thing I’ve learned is that, one, I know without a shadow of a doubt that nothing was ever given to me. I feel comfortable in the fact that I am where I am, one, because I serve a God that loves me. But two, because He has equipped me with everything that I’ve had to do, decisions I’ve had to make, paths I’ve had to go down, and turns that I’ve had to take. Everything that I have now is because of effort and work that I’ve put in. I feel comfortable in that now, and that hasn’t always been the case. But to be in a room where you don’t have to make excuses, where you are in a room with others who have quite honestly busted their butts to get where they are, and they appreciate it… It’s one thing to be in a room of people that have, but it’s another thing to get into a room of people that have it, and they’re still humble, they’re still down-to-earth, they’re still willing to put in extra work because they’re not comfortable where they are. It really just energizes you. It energizes you, it gives you fuel for the journey, and it’s a beautiful thing.
Lisa Larter (41:58):
I love being around people that light the pathway for what is possible that I haven’t considered for myself yet.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (42:07):
Lisa Larter (42:08):
I know that along the way, at least in my career, when I think about money, I’ve had some self-imposed glass ceilings that I’ve had to break through.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (42:19):
Lisa Larter (42:19):
One of them was I had set this goal for myself that I wanted to earn $50,000 a year by the time I was 30. Well, I blew that goal out of the water, but then, it was like, what’s the next goal? I have found that at times in my life where I set a goal, when I meet the threshold, I almost stay the same for a while because it’s almost like I’m afraid to dream to the next step. So, when I’m around people like you and other women that we know in that community, it inspires me to see what is possible through what other people are doing.
Lisa Larter (43:01):
So, I think that if I look at my family, there was a time where somebody in my family wanted to borrow money from me. My husband and I have a hard fast rule. We don’t loan family members money. There are only two people that we will give money to, and that’s his mom and my mom if they need it, but our rule is we don’t loan money because then, it just gets … it gets messy. I remember telling that person that my husband and I have this rule, but here’s what I can do. I can teach you how to make money. I can teach you what I know, and I will do that. I mean, my time is worth a fair amount of money, but I was willing to teach and help this person for free. That’s not what they wanted. Never heard from them again.
Lisa Larter (43:53):
So, it’s important that if you want to elevate your thinking, that you elevate yourself out of the communities that pull your thinking down because we all need these beacons of what is possible. That’s why I wanted you on the show because I don’t know anybody else that’s called a list of people for nine months in a row to get their first customer. I don’t know anybody that’s been brave enough to quit their job the day they got their first customer. I don’t know anybody that has built what you have built and overcome some of the adversity that you’ve overcome in your life, and I think that’s incredibly empowering. We all need models of success for people that we can relate to.
Lisa Larter (44:48):
So, I grew up with a single mom. Your mom was a drug addict. You were a single mom. I’m a high school dropout. You’re African American. When people look at us and they associate those labels, they’re inspired by those labels because they go, “Oh, if she can do it and she’s a high school dropout, so can I.” So, I just think it’s so important that we share stories, and we light that pathway for what is possible for others.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (45:23):
Lisa Larter (45:23):
You’re lighting the pathway in such a huge way, and one of the things that I really respect and I admire about you is how big your energy is because I think that sometimes, my energy … like sometimes, I’m a little bit more reserved about my success, and I feel like I should be a little louder and prouder and be inspiring more people. When you walk into a room and I see the energy that you bring and how you inspire the people that are around you, I really look up to that quality in you.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (46:08):
Oh, my goodness. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. You know what? My biggest goal in life is for people to be able to see that quality in me, is for people to be able to see me as someone that is a walking vision of what is possible. Literally, that’s truly all I want in life, and that’s for my family, for my daughter, and now, my daughter’s daughter. Oh, my goodness. If they could look at me and be able to see what is possible, that in itself is the greatest gift that I could leave anybody especially those that I love so, so dearly. So, to be able to have folks see that in me, I could literally like drop the mic. I could literally drop the mic. I never want … That’s who I am. It’s who I am all day every day.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (47:19):
I tell people, “This is what you’re going to get all day every day.” Right? I’m so grateful. I’m so grateful that so many times, you hear people say, “Oh, she changed.” I’m just so glad that I have not, and I dare not. I dare not because I know, again, this thing is so much bigger than me. My purpose in life is so much bigger than me. My legacy is so much bigger than me, and I’m just grateful to be able to walk in it every day.
Lisa Larter (47:54):
I love it. So, I want to wrap up, and I have one final question for you.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (47:59):
Lisa Larter (47:59):
I want you to imagine a listener right now, and that person is either, they’ve been struggling to reach six figures in their business, they’ve been struggling to break through the seven figures in their business, they’re feeling a little like they can’t do it. I want you to give them a tangible piece of advice, something that you believe that if they do this one thing, or they do these two things, that they can really break through whatever is holding them back from getting to what it is that they want in their business right now.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (48:38):
So, I’ll say, first and foremost, it doesn’t have to look like everybody else. I think so many times, especially in the world that we live in now, in the age of social media and everything, we can sometimes get caught up with trying to do things the way everybody else is doing. I’ll tell you, girlfriend, as you’re listening today, I’ll tell you so many of us, me included, have spent the past two years because it’s been so just dead in our faces. We’ve tried to do what everybody else is doing, and I’m here to tell you today that it does not have to look like everybody else. You do not have to do what everybody else is doing. So, I want you to stop, and I want you to think about what it is you need to do to break through that next hurdle that’s in front of you.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (49:39):
You already know, you already know what you need to do, but because it doesn’t look like everybody else’s, you haven’t done it. You already know the next phone call you need to make. You already know the next email you need to make. You already know the next post you need to make on any of your social platforms. You already know the next thing that you need to do. You already know it, but you’re scared, one, because you know it’s not normal, right, but you’re not normal. So, I think that’s what I would say. Take the next step even though it feels uncomfortable to you right now. Trust me, I know that it feels uncomfortable for you right now. I just want you to take the next step. I just want you to take it.
Lisa Larter (50:31):
Do that thing that you know you should be doing that you’re avoiding.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (50:34):
Do that thing. I’m getting a little emotional right now because I believe that to be true. We’ve allowed ourselves to get caught up in all of this hoopla, and I just want you to take the step. Do it. Trust yourself, and do it. I want you to watch what happens, and when you do it, I want you to do it boldly. I don’t want you to be shy and timid. Go out there and do it. You’re already great. You’ve already proven that. You’ve already made it to where you are because of your greatness. All you have to do now is trust it. Trust it, and just do it. That’s what I would say.
Lisa Larter (51:20):
That’s awesome. Thank you so much, Myoshia, for spending time with me. It’s been absolutely great to talk with you to share your story with our listeners, and I appreciate everything about you. So, thank you very, very much for being here today. I will be putting links to Myoshia’s website and her Instagram and all that in the show notes. So, if you go to the show notes for this episode, you will be able to find all of that easily. Thank you again. Great to see you.
Myoshia Boykin-Anderson (52:00):
Thanks, Lisa. Thanks for having me.
Lisa Larter (52:03):
Thank you for joining me for this episode of She Talks Business. If you enjoyed the show, you know the drill, leave us a review, tell someone about it and join the conversation on social media. Thanks for listening and until next time remember, done is always better than perfect.